Top 5 gadgets to help you get Arrested

Posted by On December - 17 - 2008

OK, we’ll admit it. Some of us are drawn to dangerous gear like bears to a picnic basket. There’s just something devilishly appealing about mixing a few of our favorite things (tech toys) with one of our least (a ride in the back of a squad car). Just remember: If misused, these gizmos could get you slapped with a set of handcuffs along with a criminal record.

The WASP Knife

Designed to quickly dispatch marauding undersea predators, this 5.25-inch hunting/tactical blade conceals a catastrophic one-two punch. A flick of a button injects the beast with an 800-psi blast of compressed air.

Why It’d Get You Arrested: Stabbing random objects on dry land (and then making them explode) is the fast track to a vandalism charge.

Sonar II Burner

Wicked Lasers’ Sonar II Burner. Essentially a more powerful version of the lasers found in Blu-ray players, this six-inch tool doesn’t have to compensate for anything; it can light matches, burn holes through paper and melt plastic.

Why It’d Get You Arrested: Where to begin? At 60mW, the Sonar II is totally capable of starting fires (arson), burning retinas (assault) and disorienting airline pilots (Gitmo).

EMT Paintball Sentry Turret

This remote-controlled, tripod-mounted paintball cannon unleashes oil-based vengeance at 30 rounds per second on full-auto. And all you paint-balling pros take note: The EMT is not some glorified sloppy-shot Brass Eagle. Integrated-vibration dampeners plus rotation/tilt mechanisms make rounds fired from this gadget highly accurate.

Why It’d Get You Arrested: With the amount of paint the Sentry is capable of unloading, you’d definitely be facing accusations of assault, disturbing the peace and any other charges your welt-covered victims care to press.

Fiber Laser Marking System

If you’re going to deface public property, you might as well get an assist from technology. Laser Photonic’s unintentional contribution to this practice is the “Handheld Fiber Laser Marking System.” This portable, high-power laser was originally designed for etching graphics into industrial surfaces like metal, glass and stone. You can use it by running it off a car battery, and being able to etch almost any graphic you can load on a multimedia card.

Why It’d Get You Arrested: Tagging public property with such creativity and zeal is likely to bump up the charge. A number of states reserve the right to boost vandalism charges to the felonious level if the damage exceeds $400, is especially malicious or is performed by a repeat offender.

Lil’ Buttie LB110

You don’t have to work for the NSA to listen to other people’s phone calls. A nifty lineman’s handset like the Lil’ Buttie LB110 is enough to do the trick. This cheap, easy-to-find gadget is the cornerstone of tapping a phone line.Once you’re on the line, you can snoop on conversations, record them or even dial out at your leisure.

Why It’d Get You Arrested: Despite what you may think, owning a “butt set” isn’t illegal. Don’t be fooled though — unless you’re using it for running diagnostics on your own phone line, someone’s bound to drop the hammer. Getting caught using (or even installing) an unauthorized line is the express lane to a felonious wiretapping charge, and/or a lifetime of government scrutiny. Trust us on this one.